Sunday, August 15, 2010

Six Ways To Stay Unemployed

I was perusing an old diary that belonged to my Uncle Willy who lived through the Great Depression and found this bit of advice on how to maintain your mental health.

“Baring your soul can be therapeutic,” he wrote. “So the next time you are depressed and you can’t afford a psychiatrist make an appointment with a potential boss at a job interview.”

1. When the employer asks why you are leaving your current job tell him why you hate your work and your boss is such a jerk.

2. Also reveal why you’re so dissatisfied with your current buddies at work.

3. After he or she brings up salary tell them you are flexible but with your talent and experience and won’t settle for peanuts.

4. If the interviewer asks what you’re planning to do in the next five years- don’t be shy tell them the truth …that you’d like to be retired.

5. Should they ask you if the job you are interviewing for is the perfect job for you tactfully explain that you like the job as a Contract Specialist but would be better suited as a Radio Host.

5. And finally, if you’re asked if you could hear people at work talking behind your back what would they be saying about you… say “Nothing, I lip read and am deaf in one ear.”

6. Be sure to send a thank you note a week after you have finished the interview.

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